Introduction:
There are wounds that don’t show on the outside, but they run deep within. Many children, who grow up in difficult environments, carry invisible scars—layers of pain that go unspoken and often unnoticed. It doesn’t matter in which country they life or if their parents are rich or poor. It doesn’t matter if their parents are doctors, layers, psychologists, teachers, cleaning ladies, working at the grocerystore….
They all share these deep wounds. They learn to shield their hearts, building walls that keep out both harm and love. As they grow up, some of these children become fighters, warriors who defend not only themselves but others who have felt the same anguish. But many remain trapped, waiting for a savior, someone who will finally heal the hurt they’ve carried for so long.
Many children who have experienced adverse (prenatal) childhood experiences or simply had a difficult childhood carry deep wounds, often hidden beneath layers of silence. These wounds aren’t visible,so they are easily overseen or ignored by others. But they linger, shaping every thought, every interaction, their mental and physical health. In their efforts to survive, these children also need to build walls around their hearts—impenetrable barriers that protect them from being hurt again and again by their caregivers/parents. We are not only talking about physical attacts, but neglect, emotional abuse,…
Silent tears may flow down their cheeks in the darkness of the night, but no one is there to notice, let alone to dry them. Comfort feels like a distant dream, something they once longed for but no longer believe in. Inside, they may want to scream, shout, kick, or cry—desperately trying to release the storm that rages within. But they know better. They know that letting their emotions loose could only make things worse, turning their already fragile world upside down.
So they suffer in silence, their pain swelling with each passing day. The hole in their hearts grows larger, threatening to consume them entirely. They become sadder, more withdrawn, and eventually numb they even dissociate. The vibrant child they once were fades away, leaving behind someone who feels hollow and unseen. And in the quiet moments, they wonder—what would it take for someone to finally come and save them? Where is the hero from the stories, the knight in shining armor who rescues the broken and forgotten?
For some of these children, salvation does come—but it doesn’t arrive in the form of a person or an external force. It comes from within. They grow up, learning to fight like lions, not just for themselves, but for others who are still trapped in the same darkness they once endured. They rise from the ashes of their past, determined to be the heroes they once wished for. They speak out for those who cannot speak, stand up for those who have been knocked down, and become champions of change.
But for many others, the wait for rescue stretches on for years—sometimes a lifetime. They hold on to the hope that one day, someone will see their pain, understand it, and take it away. They live in quiet desperation, waiting for the hero to appear. And in that waiting, some make the heartbreaking mistake of believing that having a child will heal their broken heart. They place all their unspoken hopes on the shoulders of the next generation, unknowingly burdening their children with a duty that was never theirs to bear. These children grow up feeling like they can never be enough, forever chasing the impossible task of fixing something they didn’t break.
It’s a cycle that repeats itself, a legacy of pain passed from one generation to the next. So, you might wonder: What does it take to finally break free from this cycle? How do we escape the endless loop of waiting to be saved, or fighting for others like crazy or placing the burden of salvation on others?
The answer isn’t simple, but it begins with a powerful, often terrifying step—acknowledging our own pain. It takes immense courage to admit that we are wounded and that our heart need mending. It requires us to stop waiting for a savior, and instead, take ownership of our own journey. The true power comes from within.
We must learn to embrace our vulnerabilities rather than hide from them. This means allowing ourselves to feel, to be raw, to be human. It means shedding the armor we’ve built around our hearts and being open to the possibility of connection. Breaking free of the chains from the past happens when we stop running from our past and start confronting it, piece by piece.
But we don’t have to do it alone. One of the greatest lies we tell ourselves is that we are in this fight by ourselves. The truth is, we are never alone. There are people who understand, who have walked the same road, who know the weight of the burdens we carry. When we reach out, when we allow others to see our pain, we find support. We find strength in shared vulnerability.
And in this process, we come to realize something profound: we don’t need a hero to rescue us. The real hero has always been within us. We have the power to make our hearts hole again, we cant’t change the past, but we have our future in our hands. We can create a new story—one that isn’t defined by our pain but by our resilience.
It’s not easy. It’s a journey filled with setbacks, moments of doubt, and times when it feels like the weight of the world is too much to bear. But with every step we take, we get closer to breaking free from the chains of our past. We begin to fill the hole in our hearts with love, compassion, and understanding—for ourselves and for others.
Eventually, we step into the light. We shed the identity of the victim and the savior, and we simply become—whole, imperfect, but free. And in that freedom, we find the strength to build a future filled with hope, love, and possibility for us and for our children.
This is the journey begins with one simple truth: We are the heroes we’ve been waiting for! You might not know how and were to start, but if you stretch out your hand you can grab mine and I can walk next to you guiding you through.
Contact me via e-mail (office@kelaridis.at) and or phone (+43 699 10 82 38 02) for a free 15 minute talk to see if and how I can help you.
